TOXIC PEOPLE suck … literally & figuratively, they suck the life right out of you!
You know the ones I am talking about! They are the people that are always SO negative or the ones that drain your energy when you are around them.
Here are a few ways to know that you are around a person that is toxic to your overall health and well-being.
You have to STOP surrounding yourself with these energy vampires!
– You do NOT look forward to seeing them.
– You get all stressed out before and after you are around them.
– You feel extremely frustrated when speaking with them.
– You feel emotional and physically worse in their presence.
– They always point out to you the negative in a situation.
– They make you feel like what you have to say is not relevant; It’s all about them.
– You feel like you have “no say” in anything when you are around them.
– They yell at you or abuse you physically.
– You feel “less than” when you are around them.
– They plant the seed of “impossible” in your mind when you share your dreams and desires with them!
You get the picture… all of us encounter at least one person like this in our lifetime!
It could be a family member, friend, colleague or even your boss at your job.
So what should you do if you have a person or a few people that make you feel this way?
Well, if you have heard me speak at my live events & workshops, you know that I am a firm believer in upgrading your environment so that it enriches your life.
And yes, your environment includes people too!
Here is a 5-step process that will help you to upgrade your people environment and as a result, improve your overall state-of-mind and health!
1) Make a list of all the people in your life that you tolerate … people that annoy or frustrate you… people that stress you out.
Ask yourself, am I true to who I REALLY am when I am around them?
2) Now, write down all the things that bother you about that person (e.g., they are always pointing out the negative in my situation, they don’t listen to me, I feel physically sick when I am around them, etc.)
Please note: This step is NOT meant for you to laser focus on the negative aspects of your relationship. It’s just meant to heighten your awareness of the impact this person has on your overall happiness.
3) Next, write down the way you would like to be treated by people – get a clear picture of the ‘ideal’ person that you would like to hang out with. Be as specific as possible on how you want someone to treat you.
Use the negative aspects above and turn them 180 degree around. For example, if they always point out the negative, say something like “I want to be around people who lift me up, point out the positives, raise my vibration. I feel good when I leave these people, having a sense of wanting to be around them more.” You get the idea!
4) Then, build your belief in yourself, through some positive affirmations, that you deserve to be treated in a loving and supportive manner. Here’s a sample affirmation: “I love and accept myself, and I am a magnet for positive, loving & supportive people!” Say this when you wake up every morning, write it in your journal, and come up with more affirmations on the type of people that you would like to attract into your life.
5) Create strong personal boundaries. What do I mean by “personal boundaries”? I would define this as your “rules” for what is considered unacceptable & acceptable behaviors towards you by others.
Here are a few examples of personal boundaries:
– No one may ever yell at me.
– People must be in a good mood to be around me. If not, I will hang up, not spend as much time with them. I will keep my distance from them as much as possible.
– Everyone must be completely straightforward with me; no lying.
– If someone tells me my dreams are stupid or not possible, I will tell them that I didn’t ask for their perspective and that it is MY life and I will go after what feels right to me! And here’s a good line to say back to them: “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say it at all.” OR this one is a bit more polite <wink> …
“Thank you for sharing your perspective, but what you believe has nothing to do with what I can achieve in MY life!”
Do your emotional and physical health a favor and give your people environment a makeover! You will find that by changing how you respond to the people in your life OR by making the decision to not see or speak to the toxic people in your life, will be just as beneficial to your health as eating a healthy meal or exercising!
And always remember that YOUR BELIEFS about what you deserve in your life and your beliefs about people in general, plays just as much of a role in how you experience the people in your life!
Have an extraordinary rest of the day and let me know if you would like some support with improving the nature of your relationships and strengthening those personal boundaries that will enhance your overall happiness! I have a variety of ways to work with me that may fit your specific needs. Contact me for a complimentary consultation today.